The Long, Slow Road to Mommyhood

What I would need to do to become a biological mother in the state of Maryland:
1. Find some sperm
2. Introduce it to my gametes
3. Let it bake 9 months or so in my baby-oven
4. Take it out of the baby-oven

Presto! Mommy!

What I will need to do to become a foster mother in the state of Maryland:
1. Applicants must be 21 years of age. (Yup, got that one covered)
2. Applicants may be single or married. (Yup, I am single or married)
3. Applicants may live in own apartment or house. (Yes, I live in my own apartment or house)
4. Applicants are fingerprinted for a criminal background check. (Despite having been fingerprinted numerous times to become a teacher - and get a Federal ID badge allowing me to walk on to NASA facilities all over the country - they have to print me themselves)
5. Every member of the household 18 years or older must be fingerprinted for a criminal background check. (This one's easy, as I am the only member of my household)
6. Applicants must be able to meet family's financial obligations. (This one should be okay once I find a job)
7. Applicants are requested to submit an initial medical examination and reexamination every two years for every member of the household to determine their physical and emotional ability to care for children. (Seriously? Wow. I know a lot of
parents who physically and emotionally suck at life...)
8. Applicants are requested to provide three references regarding their parenting ability. (Done, although it's really weird to go to someone and ask them to be willing to vouch that you are not going to suck at beinf a mother...)
9. Applicants are required to complete a minimum of 27 hours of pre-service education. (Pre-service education? That's the
strangest way to say "parenting classes" I have EVER heard!)
10. The applicant's home will be inspected by personnel from the health department for safety and sanitation, and by the fire
department. (This shouldn't be a tough one)
11. A minimum of two visits to the applicant's home is completed by the approval worker to discuss the types of children
most appropriate for them, the proposed sleeping arrangements and the family lifestyle. (Visit, away, approval worker)
12. A child support clearance must be conducted. (Yeah, I don't even know what this means yet...)
13. Applicant must agree not to use physical punishment. (Not a problem. I don't believe in spanking.)

Not-quite-as-presto! Mommy!

But you know what? If they asked me to ride the Metro naked at rush-hour, I'd do it for her. :)

(Im)Patiently Waiting

Now that I've wrapped my head and my heart around the idea of being a foster mother, I find myself becoming impatient with the system. I get that you want to be sure that she is placed in a good home, and I promise to do my damnedest to provide just that.

She needs me. I want her. I have a room ready for her, people willing to vouch for my relative goodness as a human being and potential as a mommy, and a support system in place to help me if/when I need it.

Let's make this happen, State of Maryland. Sooner rather than later.

A precious little girl's future is at stake.

Daydreaming

Lovely poem called "Daydreaming" by Tom Fisher
*** Small amount of creative license taken - I made a couple of small edits to reflect my current situation***

I stepped into her room today
I know she's not yet there
This waiting for referral
Is almost more than I can bear.

But taking in the moment
I sit down on the floor
And dream of her here with me
When waiting is no more.

A little giggle fills the air
As I rub her tiny feet
I place my hand upon her heart
And feel its every beat.

A song is sung so very soft
Her eyes begin to close
She’s meeting me in dream land
A place where love still grows.

My vision now is very blurred
The tears stream down my cheeks
I’ve dreamed of her quite often
Throughout these past few weeks.

Suddenly a sound is heard
The phone rings in the hall
Waking up I quickly pray
Please let it be "The Call."

What Do 9-Year-Old Girls Like, Anyway?

Kiddo's Bedroom, Pre-Kiddo
(We're going to pick out her linens, decorative stuff, etc. together)





In preparing for the possible arrival (in the relatively near future) of a 9-year-old girl in my life, I am faced with the realization that I don't know anything about 9-year-old girls. I don't know what size clothing they wear (although I understand that, similar to girls of other ages, they come in all sorts of different shapes and sizes). I don't know what they like to do. I don't know what kind of TV shows they like or the type of music they listened to.

It has been a LONG time since I was 9. When I was 9, my now-25-year-old brother was born, and Donny Coates and I were sneaking around lighting things (mostly firecrackers and bugs) on fire with magnifying glasses (because no one in their right mind would give either of us matches or a lighter). Ronald Reagan was president, the Chernobyl and Challenger Disasters occurred, and Lindsay Lohan and the Olsen twins were born.

***Sidebar: Just typing that made me realize how old I am***

Walking through the aisles at Wal-Mart today, I realized what a gigantic learning curve this whole motherhood thing is going to be. Everything has changed since I was the age of the precious little girl I am praying will become my daughter - the toys, books, and music (the first time I heard Justin Bieber singing, I made a comment about how "awful that girl's voice" was - and was immediately corrected by a Bieber-loving 10-year-old in the car with me) are SO different, and I don't remember little girls dressing like tiny prostitutes when I was a "tween" (seriously - my kid will NOT be wearing booty shorts or midriff-baring shirts or tiny bikinis... what the HECK are parents these days thinking?!?)

But you know what's cool? She and I will figure this all out. Together.

She'll get to teach me all about the things that 9-year-old girls like, and I will get to teach her about being loved and feeling safe. She may end up being the most pink-loving (perish the thought), Justin Bieber-worshipping, meat-eating little girl I've ever met... but she will be my daughter, and we'll work through all that stuff.

But no tiny hooker clothing. That is one battle I WILL win.